How to Deal with your 'Male' Counterparts
by AruaPearl44
Summary: It's now Giratina's turn to write a guide.


How to Deal with Your Insane Male Counterparts

**I made a squeal to my first one.**

Summery: It's Giratina's turn for the guide. She also want to help Ash out.

Dedicated to all the female counterparts and my dad of crazy male legendaries (Me, Cress, Celebi, Mew, Kyogre, Lugia, Palkia, and Deoxys, just to name a few). Registeel and Heatran are both psychotic/homicidal/gay so I will not be going over their complaints over their 'counterparts' because personally if I was either of those two's counterparts, I would probably have gone insane myself.

_Who is your counterpart?_

Darkrai-Cresselia's take on him: (Insane glint in eyes) He's gonna die.. he's gonna die...He's going to die...

Me: What'd he do now?

Cress: He said 'Good morning'!

Me: (backing away) Ooookay... (runs away.)

Groudon- Kyogre's take on him: He called me fat! He must die! *starts firing Hydro Pumps at Groudon*

Groudon: NOES! I DUN LIKE WATER!

Me:...O.O' Rayquaza! Help!

Rayquaza: (Death-glare) Stop fighting right now or I will disembowel you both while your still alive.

Groudon and Kyogre: (O.o)

Ho-oh-Lugia's take on her: Ho-oh is a big pain. I wish I was S-Lugia's partner. He so dreamy. (Then why did I see you and Ho-oh making out?)

Shadow Lugia-Lugia's take on him: He's so hot. (Tell me what you don't like about him.) He only likes me for my body. (I have no idea about this, I never completed Pokemon XD.)

Lugia- Ho-oh's take on her: She's so mean all the time and she's even meaner at Ash. (That's because his personality is now dense and hot. I mean wild. Yeah wild.)

Do to being guys and not in this categorize Mewtwo and Deoxys will not be in here.

Entei and Raikou-Suicune's take on them: Entei's fairly smart and Raikou is a smartass. I like Raikou, though. He said I have pretty eyes. (Well, at least you told me what you disliked about Raikou...)

Mew-Celebi's take on her: Mew! Get back here! (A pink blur shoots past me, followed by Celebi who is wielding a battle-axe. I don't want to know.)

Celebi- Mew's take on her. I'm sorry. (The pink cat creature is still runnin' away from the green fairy.)

Arceus-My dad's take on him: He treats me like a stranger even though he said's I'm his brother. I still don't believe him about I'm his brother, that and I saved his life. This isn't how he should repay me. (You may have done nice things to him but my dad did the opposite.) Who's your dad? (You.) No no way. Your lying. (Ash runs away.) (This is a mess.)

Arceus-My take on him: He's nice but too pushy. Other than that he's fine unless your Ash. Sorry Dad.

_Registeel, Ash and Heatran_

I should warn all male and female Legendaries (or anybody within a twenty mile radius), that Registeel and Heatran are completely insane. Ash is a walking time bomb, if you met him he would be kind or dangerous. Avoid and if confronted-run like hell. Run like there's not tomorrow because if they catch you, there will _be_ no tomorrow. Right now I have compiled a list of Registeel's, Ash's, and Heatran's many schemes (Partial list)

Registeel: Sentret army (Every once in a while, I see one walking around the Hall of Origin), demonic toilets form hell, pouring cooking oil on the steps leading up to the Hall of Origin (It was rather funny watching Regice fall down 1,045,982 flights of stairs. Where she got all that cooking oil and why Arceus needs that many stairs, however, I have no idea.), and dying Darkrai hot pink (How this would help her accomplish her dreams of world domination I have no freaking idea)

Ash: Secret assigned doll (It didn't work, and I won 20 bucks for Jarachi.), hypnotizing the Legendaries to turn on Arceus (He was hypnotized instead and was acting like a Pikachu for a week.), Dating Articuno (How that would kill Arceus is far beyond me.), Kill Lucario (He was Arceus' best friend. Ash kind of pulled it off but he was fused with the Lucario's soul. It's a long story.), gave Mew candy (she flooded the hall with chocolate pudding, I now hate chocolate cause Arceus made us eat it all.), made Satoshi, (I hate that I'm related to that monster.), and left the hall for 20 long years then come back and be a worst monster than his son and trying to kill Arceus again. (I sure missed him. :*) I love him so.)(There is more, but this is all I remember.)

Heatran (I'm pretty sure he's gay): Getting Regigigas hyper (There is still a hole in my wall), tying me up and dressing like me to try to fool Arceus (He's not Mew. Does he look that stupid? However, it was funny to watch my dad Aura Sphere the crap outta him.), and evil, flaming-chain-saw wielding dryers of doom (How he came up with that idea is beyond me.)

If you see them, treat with extreme caution.

Most insane males: Arceus (He ranks about a five), Ash (With Heatran and Registeel.), Mewtwo (Let me put it this way: Come into my lab and we'll test out some harmless formulas I concocted! Result: Darkrai was a foot-tall for a week, Articuno lost all her feathers, and Rayquaza's sking turned bright pink.), Shadow Lugia (Known as S-Lugia), Darkrai (Sarcastic as hell. I believe that's who I'm hearing screaming in pain right now), Raikou, Dialga (No control over his mouth. Whatsoever. Can generally be heard screaming in pain twice a week and be seen running from Palkia every Thursday), and Groudon (Immature, but fine by me...)

Less Insane

Latios (The fact he's dead probably helps, I should say 'hi' to Latias for him.)

Regirock (Not insane himself, but I have pictures of him making out with Registeel. Five bucks says she drugged him.)

Regice (I can't understand a word he says. He beeps. I don't speak Beep.)

Entei

Moltres (Something smells like it's burning... that and he's annoying, almost as annoying as Mew.)

Manaphy (Never see him. Can be found swimming)

Jarachi (Addicted to candy.)

Uxie (He flirts with all the females and returns even though we always say no.)

Uxie: Will you go out with me. (Sounds like Sinnoh Brock.)

Me: For the hundredth time. NO!

_Rules on How to Deal with Male Counterpart_

1. Never say 'Is it that time of the month' to us. Ever. Not unless you have a death wish.

2. Mewtwo. Never go into his lab.

3. Do NOT give Mew suger, soda, or anything that has caffeine/suger in it/

my case with Arceus: (Snuggles up to him) "Forgive Me?" This generally yields very good results.

5. Do not allow Darkrai within 20 meters of Cresselia. Or VERY bad things will happen. I cannot deal with WWIII breaking out at 3:00 in the morning.

6. Watch out for Uxie. He will flirt with you badly. And don't look into his eyes. (Note to self: Kill Uxie.)

7. Ho-oh is a self-centered, flashy pain in the ass. She will never change.

8. Palkia has an unrivaled bloodlust when pissed. If you are anyone besides Dialga, treat with caution. If you are Dialga, run like hell.

9. When confronted: Act cute. Works best with Raikou, Shadow Lugia, Groudon, Dialga and Arceus.

_What Not to Say to We Female Legendaries_

Things involving the 'p-word'

What the hell did I do now?

Drop dead.

You psychopathic bitch!

Want to be my experiment? Oh, oops. I meant partner up with me for an experiment?

Someone obviously forgot to take their happy pills this morning.

Good morning (Apparently this pissed Cress off, so I'll put it here as a precaution.)

_What Never to Say to Male Legendaries_

"No, you can not com into the bathroom right now. I'm naked."-Cress to Darkrai. Naturally he opened the door anyway and got a Steel Wing to the you-know-where. He couldn't hover straight for three days.

"Sure! I'll help you on an experiment!"-Articuno. Poor girl; her feathers are still growing back. Lesson learned: never trust the Genetic Feline.

"Sure, you can have some of my candy!"-Mespirit to Mew. Result: She flooded the Hall of Origin with vanilla pudding.

"No, we will not be called Team Ho-oh-Is-The-Awsomest!" Lugia. Ho-oh was sulking in her room for two hours.

"Shadow Lugia, you are the most sadistic Legendary I've ever met!" Ho-oh. S-Lugia likes being called a sadist. (I'm not sure what a sadist means. I've seen it in some parts but never understand that.)

_What to Say to Him:_

My case is very easy. Snuggling up to him and saying "Let's make out" has always had very good results.

Darkrai: No idea. Cresselia will kill him if he comes within a hundred feet of her, let alone says anything to her at all. (A black blur speeds past me followed by Cresselia, who is charging up an Aurora Beam.)

Dialga: Dialga is nice. Just has no common sense.

S-Lugia: He likes Lugia. Get Lugia. (Will you two get the hell out of my freaking bedroom, already?)

Mew: "Want to go prank someone?" She likes pranks. Or give her Azelf.

Raikou: He likes Suicune. Give him Suicune. He also likes gummy worms. The sour kind.

Groudon: When him and Kyogre fight, give them Rayquaza. He death-glares at them. They stop.

Mewtwo: I'm not touching that one. Specific Reason: The only thing I can think of is let's go experiment. And I don't want anyone ending up with two heads or worse.

Shadow Lugia: *Him and Lugia making out*

Me: Must you do that on my bed?

Shadow Lugia: Yes.

Me: O.O' (Shuts door.)

_Excuses Used to Avoid Mewtwo _(These generally work)

"I'm trying to kill Darkrai right now. DARKRAIIII!"-Cress, Darkrai was asleep in my closet.

"Hell no! Roar of Space!" Palkia. Mewtwo's fur is gonna take a long time to grow back.

"No way! Roar of Time!" Dialga.

"Dude! Leave me alone! Can't you see we're making out!" This one has worked for me and Lugia.

"Die!" Ash. Mewtwo nearly misses a hyper beam.

Mewtwo: Celebi, want to help me out? I need someone to test this-

Celebi: *Battle-ax*

Mewtwo: *pales* Oh, shit! (runs away)

"Ask me that question one more time and I will kill you." Rayquaza.

"I can't right now. Cress is trying to kill me again. Oh, hell! Here she comes!"-Darkrai.

**Results may vary upon users.**

Questions

Cresselia: *insane glint in eyes again* Where is Darkrai?

Me: Are you trying to kill him again?

Cress: YEAH!

Me *pointing towards Ash's room* He went that way!

Cress: Darkrai! (races down the hall)

Darkrai *opens closet door.* Thanks.

Me: Your welcome.

Lugia: Why is Ash even here? He was banned a long time ago.

Me: Because I let him in.

Lugia: You are weird. Girlfriend.

Registeel: Have you seen my partners?

Me: No. (And even if I did I wouldn't tell you because you're insane.)

Registeel: Can I kill Regigigas?

Me: No. And if you ask my uncle he would say no, too.

Lugia: Ho-oh's acting like a self-centered idiot again!

Me: Refer to Rule 7.

Regirock: Help me! Registeel is coming this way!

Me: Refer to Heatran, Ash, and Registeel.

Regirock: I did!

Me: Hid and avoid toilets.

Celebi: Have you seen Mew?

Me: Is that a battle-axe?

Celebi: Yeah

Me: Then no, I have not seen Mew!

Arceus: Want to make out with me?

Me: Yes!

_Ash glares at the panting Lunar Legendary floating at the entrance of his room "Where is Darkrai?" she growled "Is he in here?"_

_Ash scowled. "No and if you don't want to die stay out of my room. And tell the others to stay out of my room." he stated, shutting the door to his room. Cresselia ran away after that._

_After watching that even, Arceus went to his room, sprawled onto his bed, staring at the papers in his hand. Maybe I can turn this into a series, he thought._

**CrystalTamer13 is right. This is fun. Maybe I should do a series too. Like to a more personal states. (Starts going down major Legendary pairings. And making up some of my own.)**

**Anyway, you know the drill, read and reveiw.**

**But no flames cause I don't know what a flame is.**

**AuraPearl44_May the Aura be with you_Peace.**


End file.
